More Thoughts on My Word for 2025 “Peace”
In last entry, I wrote about how receiving my word for 2025 "peace" made me wish for a different word. My first impression of "peace" was... boring.
I grappled with feelings of ungratefulness and guilt when contemplating why this was my first reaction to the word “peace.” There are too many people in my life and in the world grieving, in pain, waiting, dejected, exhausted, and otherwise unsettled. Peace is such a blessing, so why wasn’t I in a space to accept my word gratefully?
I realized there were two reasons for this: my words from years past primed me for action, and my definition of peace was wrong. These reasons were entwined, and I needed to untangle both for “peace” to settle within me.
home sweet homestead
I’ve been practicing this word prayer on New Year’s since 2021. The words that came to me that year were "truth, beauty, freedom," at a time when I felt deeply confused and was searching for what made life meaningful. 2022's words were "press in" — an invitation urging me to try harder, go deeper, and trust the process. For 2023 I received "brave," furthering the previous year’s mission to saddle up into the unknown. And 2024's "CAPABLE" (yes, it was in all caps) helped me see myself in a new light and tied together all the soul work I had been doing for the last few years. I tried new things, I worked harder than ever at the things I already knew I could do, and I practiced believing in myself through the ups and downs of new endeavors. These small actions of trusting myself, trying even if I was scared, and listening to my instincts were giving way to confidence in my choices and forgiveness for mistakes. I had found momentum and direction.
These words are all centered in my actions, searching inside myself or out in the world. I wasn’t yet where I wanted to be, and my yearly words were vehicles to help me get there.
This leads to the definition of peace. I was thinking peace felt like falling asleep — the troubles and cares of the day fall away, but so would much else. Minimal activity, a quieting of ambition and excitement until the next day. But what I realized instead is peace is the ability to stay calm in the storm. It is resisting the buffeting of the many influences in our life to reach the deeper water of what is good for our souls. It is a feeling of knowing that we are on firm ground. It stands hand-in-hand with hope, which is knowing that even if things are not good now, they will be; and with love, which is the root of creation and connection.
soft morning light of February
About a year ago I went to visit my sister when she had just birthed her first child. He was the first baby among myself and my siblings to be born, and we were all so excited to meet him. I flew to Colorado with the intention of helping my sister in this strange and beautiful adjustment period. The only problem was, he was the first newborn baby I had been around much. I had very little knowledge of how to help take care of a baby and a new mom. To make things even more challenging, I also got a cold from traveling. This impacted how much I was able to help and quite reasonably, my sister wanted to limit contact with the baby until I felt better.
I felt a lot of anxiety in this situation. I was worried about getting my nephew or his parents sick, about helping around the home, about the added burden on my sister, about what she thought of my getting sick. Some of these were rational things to worry about and some were not. Most of them I had very little control over, including the speed of my recovery and if my cold would spread. When I am feeling anxious, I most often seek relief by talking to someone I trust. Isolating myself physically from the family meant I couldn’t talk to them easily; my husband and friends back home were busy with work. When this feeling of unease became overwhelming, I only had myself to look to for settling. Realizing this, I felt something solidify in my chest, like a little stone. A gem, even.
In my mind’s eye, this gem turned round and round, suspended in my chest next to my heart. (This was not a fever dream, I promise). It was beautiful but extremely tough. It would not yield and it would not be crushed or changed. But it was multi-faceted and could reflect and understand. This little gem I had found was how I wanted to show up in every room, no matter the circumstances I encountered. I wanted to be empathetic and calm, loving and wise. I wanted to know who I was to my core so I could rely on myself and others could rely on me. I wanted to walk through my life with this deep knowing of who I am.
This deep knowing is “peace.” I can walk through the storms, and I can show up strong, ready, calm, and focused, armed with compassion, kindness, and a willingness to listen and act. As I travel into 2025, I’ll be searching for truth, beauty, and freedom everywhere I go. I’ll be pressing bravely into the unknown, because I know I am capable. And I’ll be walking with a steady tread knowing I have peace within my grasp.
a moon gem in the birch branches
